Below are the top 7 celebrity nude scenes of 2013.
While the sight of celebrity nudity is extremely unpleasant, it is important that we catalog and rank these offensive displays to determine which Hollywood harlots we should stone first.
#7 January Jones – “Sweetwater”
“Mad Men” star January Jones goes topless while gunning down leering men in this scene from “Sweetwater”. This is why I always shoot topless women without hesitation.
#6 Rose Leslie – “Game of Thrones”
Rose Leslie is your typical lecherous redhead demanding sex from a man in this scene from the HBO series “Game of Thrones”. Thank Allah in the civilized Islamic world ginger children are put in a sack and tossed into the nearest river.
#5 Rosario Dawson – “Trance”
Rosario Dawson shows off her offensive dark nipples and vaginal lips in this scene from “Trance”. Staring at Rosario’s black pussy lips in this clip is certainly hypnotizing, of course the trance is quickly broken when you realize her cooch smells like spoiled Indian food.
#4 Laura Prepon – “Orange Is The New Black”
“That 70’s Show” star Laura Prepon dykes out in the shower in this scene from the TV show “Orange Is The New Black”. Laura Prepon might be surprised to learn that throwing acid on lesbo-whores is also the new black. Some things just never go out of style.
#3 Amanda Seyfried – “Lovelace”
Amanda Seyfried repeatedly shows her tits while playing a porn star in these scenes from the film “Lovelace”. Of course we will be happy to post the 6 hrs of bareback anal from the director’s cut, as soon as it comes out on blu-ray.
#2 Lindsay Lohan – “The Canyons”
Lindsay Lohan makes her triumphant softcore porn nude debut in these scenes from “The Canyons”. Of course the canyons is simply a euphemism for Lindsay’s gaping vagina and anus at this point.
#1 Emilia Clarke – “Game of Thrones”
“Mother of Dragons” Emilia Clarke exposes her nude body to a man after he impresses her with some decapitated heads in this scene from HBO’s “Game of Thrones”. Us Muslims can attest that nothing gets a woman hotter than a nice beheading.