The Full 2015 Pirelli Calendar

It is the time of the year again for the homoqueers at Pirelli to release their pornographic calendar under the guise of “fashion”. Below is the full calendar in all of its model titty showing glory.

The Cover

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The cover for the 2015 Pirelli calendar features a girl sitting on a motorcycle while pulling a fruit roll-up up over her ass crack. Clearly this symbolizes that we are going to be in for a bumpy depraved ride.

Miss January – Adriana Lima

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The Adriana Lima nude photo above is actually an outtake. The flaming homoqueer that made this calendar thought that a boring picture of her in a bra holding her head was the better choice. We took the liberty of fixing his mistake.

Miss February – Natalia Vodianova

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Natalia Vodianova is Miss February, which of course is the shortest month. Another glaring mistake by Pirelli, as Natalia is one of the most halal and (if this photo is any indication) cleanest women in this calendar.

Miss March – Joan Smalls

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Joan Smalls is dressed as a topless boxer for March. I’d like to go a few rounds with her if you catch my drift *wink *wink… in case I wasn’t clear I want to punch her in the face.

Miss April – Candice Huffine

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This is another outtake because the photo in the calendar doesn’t include Candice’s titties. However, in this case with Candice’s sloppy floppy hangers I can see why Pirelli went the censored direction.

Miss May – Carolyn Murphy

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The only thing positive that can be said about this Carolyn Murphy picture is that at least she had the decency to saran wrap her tits. Unfortunately they aren’t also then hidden behind a burka, like a pious Muslimina does.

Miss June – Anna Ewers

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Anna Ewers is Miss June and shows off her pathetically flat ass. It is ironic that with June being in prime harvest season, Anna would never make it through the month with that weak rump. Below is a bonus pic from an outtake confirming this.

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Miss July – Cameron Russell

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Cameron Russell is Miss July and apparently she thinks she is too good to pose topless. Well I got news for Cameron she is simply a hypocritical whore and us Muslims will be stoning her just the same.

Miss August – Sasha Luss

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Sasha Luss poses as a topless sailor for August. Clearly with this photo Pirelli is playing off the typical infidel male fantasy of nailing a young sailor boy.

Miss September – Karen Elson

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Karen Elson is perched on a stool topless for September. Much like the month itself there is not much to say about this pic besides “ehh”.

Miss October – Isabeli Fontana

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Isabeli Fontana dresses as a slutty cowgirl for October. We will see how well she can ride a camel, when us Muslims strap her to one and ship her worthless ass off to the salt mines.

Miss November – Gigi Hadid

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Gigi Hadid poses with her legs spread wide while dressed as Darth Vader’s concubine for November.

Miss December – Raquel Zimmerman

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What a surprise a hebe named Raquel Zimmerman is Miss December. What better way for the Christians to celebrate the birth of their Jew God savior Jesus, then to stare at a holocaust survivor looking Christ killer sticking her ass up in the air.