Robert Pattinson’s New Hair Cut

robert-pattinson, celeb-jihad

The following write-up was submitted by one of our pre-teen female readers, one “Ashy94”.

O-M-G you guys!!! Robert Pattinson has cut his beautiful wavy hair. Sure I’d still let him violently penetrate my every orifice… and let him and his dreamy vampire friends gangbang me in a porn shop bathroom… and possibly let them defecate on me while they took turns kicking me in the ribs… but I’m going to miss those sexy curls!

I can only hope he kept some tousled locks around his balls and taint, so I can nuzzle my face in them while we talk about beautiful things like love, romance, and poetry *sigh*

P.S. My brother said that Robert Pattinson really is a vampire. But he is a special vampire that only sucks cum from his boyfriend’s asshole. I beat him with a sack of oranges and made him drink his own pee. LOL TTYL