Joe Simpson: Anal Pusher

celeb-jihad, ashlee-simpson

After selling the photo rights to his daughter Ashlee’s unborn child and then leaking Ashlee and Pete Wentz’s secret wedding date to the press. Father / Super Manager Joe Simpson sent out a press release today announcing that Ashlee and Pete are going to be trying anal.

According to Joe, his daughter Ashlee has been hesitant to let Pete go to “brown town” for fear that it might be painful, but Pete is a “dedicated ass man” and finally convinced her (with a little help from Papa Joe) to give it the old college try.

Joe is being careful not to give away too many details about the event but he did have these words of encouragement for the newly weds.

“I’m proud and honored that Pete will be violently penetrating my little girl’s stink hole. I wish them the best and hope it is a backdoor banging of a lifetime. Just the thought of Pete’s thick meat pole entering my princess’s quivering booty hole causing her to yelp like a wounded dog makes my heart swell. Because in the end I just want to see my daughter happy.”

Joe is reportedly in talks with K-Y Jelly and Astroglide for sponsorship rights to the big “grand opening”.