Iranian Basketball Player Set to Terrorize NBA

The Memphis Grizzlies have signed 7-foot-2 Hamed Haddadi, stealing him away from the Saba celeb-jihadBattery in the Iranian Super League.

Haddadi, the NBA’s first Iranian player, is poised to explode onto the scene.  However, some scouts fear he could turn out to be a disastrous bomb.

“Look, I could be wrong and he could just blow up,” said Percy Watkins, a veteran NBA scout. “But from what I’ve seen so far, I expect to see him self-destruct under the pressure, and possibly take all of Memphis (Grizzlies) with him.”

Despite the lack of solid intelligence, the Grizzlies are confident in their Iran Man.  Chris Wallace, the Grizzlies general manager, says he doesn’t expect much fallout from Haddadi, and claims that critics have been unduly harsh.

“I don’t want to make him out to be a martyr just yet, but I think the non-believers should prepare to be shocked and awed,” said Wallace. “With him at center we hope to wipe the rest of our division off the map, god willing.”

Whatever the result, it seems certain that Haddadi will receive an unstable reaction from the Memphis fan base unless he has what it takes to enrich the Grizzlies’ offensive capabilities and deliver a new surge of energy to this depleted franchise.